At the start of this year, I am thinking about what makes St Paul’s a special place. This may sound a touch ‘prideful’ – or a least a little self-congratulatory, but I hope it isn’t. Rather, at the start of this year, as we think about things such as our vision and who we are as a church, I want to identify and celebrate the things that we do well. Firstly because these things are simply worth celebrating, but also so we can better discern what God is inviting us to build on as we look to the future. So what makes St Paul’s a special place? Well, naturally it’s lots of things, and (equally naturally) lots of people. But recently I have been thinking about one aspect of who we are and what we do well that I think is really, really, important; and it is to do with doubt. It is this: I think that St Paul’s is a safe place to bring your doubts. Why does this matter? Well, simply because a church’s relationship with doubt shows a huge amount about who they are, and a huge amount about what it is like to be a member of that church… But also (and perhaps this sounds a little contradictory) because I think that doubt is actually an important part of faith. You see, doubt is not the opposite of faith. As many have said, if anything is the opposite of faith, it might be certainty. Faith is a choice, even an action, that we make or do in the presence of mystery, and the reality that we can’t know for certain. The choice to follow the way of Jesus, to believe in Jesus, is always a choice. Perhaps we first make that choice because we have experienced something of God’s love in our hearts. Perhaps we first make it because it was the way we were invited to see the world when we were young. We choose, as Christians, to be held by this ancient faith, by the creeds that the Church profess and by the scriptures and beliefs that make sense (perhaps) of the life experiences that we have had. But this remains an action, a choice. Faith remains a ‘leap’. And that’s ok. What’s not ok is to demand that no-one ever doubts, or to see doubts and questions as a weakness, or a failure. If anyone ever made you feel like your questions or doubts were a failure; then I want to say that I am sorry. I don’t think that is right. Actually, I find that the place of doubt and questioning is the place where our faith can deepen. And it is certainly the place where authentic Christian community can be formed. This is because the need to question is human. If a church doesn’t allow people to question, then it doesn’t allow them to be fully themselves. If we have questions, we need to ask them, we need to them to be taken seriously, not batted away or trivialised. Furthermore, if we don’t allow people to doubt or question, then we create an environment where faith can easily become coercive and controlling. The certainty that encourages some leaders and churches to tell people what they must think or must believe can be comforting. But it also creates division, and it leads to a church that is unable to hold together those who (for example) understand a scripture or a doctrine differently. Perhaps this is what lies at the root of the Anglican Church’s current disagreements on human sexuality. I want St Paul’s to be a safe place to bring your doubts and questions. I hope it is. Actually, as I have said, I think it is. So do you have questions? Ask them! I can promise you that they won’t be trivialised or obscured. Do you have doubts? That’s ok! It’s not a problem to doubt; It’s actually much more of a problem to think that you are so right and correct that the only way anyone else can be correct and right is to agree with you. When we come together around the shared mystery that is life and faith, when we choose to believe together in the person and world-changing way of Jesus despite our doubts, when we ask together the difficult questions that arise, then a truly life-giving, holistic, beautiful and deep faith can be the result. And that’s what I want to see here. Thank you, everyone, for making St Paul’s a safe space to bring your doubts. Tim Fox. If you do have any questions about faith and want to speak to Tim, please email him at St.paulschurchvicar@outlook.com